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The last time I had a girlfriend that I didn’t meet online was 1994. Ever since then, the women I’ve dated have been met through the internet - whether via accidental means or through personal ads. In those 13 years of reading and writing ads, I’ve come to learn a few things about dating and people in general. I’d like to share a few of them with you if I could. It could save you a lot of pain and heartbreak - if you listen to them. Read on for the tips!

Perhaps the largest lesson I’ve learned is that when you place an ad looking for a mate, you aren’t necessarily true to yourself. What you end up doing is projecting what you wish you were, instead of what you truly are. You wish you loved esoteric bands, you dream of being a bad boy hipster artist, you claim liberal but vote conservative. So you end up with people that are attracted to what you wrote, though you aren’t necessarily that, and the relationship doesn’t work out in the end. You find out that you don’t really actively listen to music, and your mate does - forcing many a conversation over why Joe Satriani doesn’t rock.

Lesson 1a, or something to keep in mind, is that a vast majority of people out there really don’t need to use the internet to help them find a date. They have a large, healthy social life with a broad circle of friends and friends-of-friends that they can use to test the water. Granted, with the vast increase in Internet dating in the last 10 years, it’s not totally unheard of, or even shocking, to learn someone you know who has met and dated, or even married, someone from the virtual cosmos - the zeitgeist happily allows such interactions now.
So, there is a small slice of the Internet dating pie that consists of regular, normal, everyday people. What’s the rest of the scene like?
Sadly, it’s filled with miscreants, malcontents, socially maladjusted people with severe psychological disorders. Don’t believe? Maybe you got lucky your first time out, maybe you had over 42 factors about your life analyzed and then were matched up, using a secret algorithm, to your soul mate via eHarmony. I’ve been around, it doesn’t work that way.

Lesson 2: When looking for someone, specify you’re looking for someone that isn’t on any psychologoical drugs. Trust Me. This is huge. I’m serious here. Now I’m not saying ALL drugs. If you need to take something for your thyroid, or you have ADHD, or sleeping disorders, that’s fine. But getting involved with someone that has severe psychological problems is asking for trouble, and ends with hurt.
Sure, it can be (And I speak from experience) fun in the short run. You can forget all about your shortcomings and problems, and immediately focus on hers - and if you don’t think that will happen, guess again. The relationship will be filled with adrenalin pumping highs and lows. You’ll be cursed at and told to never talk to her again, then called an hour later sobbing - being begged to come over and just hold her while she falls asleep - and you’ll do it, because you’re addicted. Addicted to being the knight in shining armor. Well, at least addicted to shoving your faults aside for awhile.

Lesson three - The picture you get is almost never close to what they look like. Never. Ever.
Seriously. So many times have I been given sent a picture and thought ‘Damn, this girl is fine!’, only to meet and find out that yes, she is indeed fine, in her goth halloween costume, with controlled lighting, some photoshop treatment, and a creative camera angle. Especially the camera angle. There’s one way to test for that - compare the photos - if the majority all seem to be taken at the same angle, you’ve got one on your hands.
Moral? Request a recent, regular picture - and include one too!

Lesson four - Hobbies.
For some reason, you’ll run into a lot of people that list hobbies that sound great, but they don’t actually do. Or they do it, but their own interpretation of it. Yes, you may think that listening to Lynard Skynard is the same as ‘Love listening to classical music’, but most of the world does not. Also, ‘I love photography and carry my camera every day’ is not the same as ‘I snap pictures of my friends with my camera phone’.
Now if you list ‘I consider Lynard Skynard a classic, and love him!’ or ‘I’m always taking pictures with my phone!’ awesome! You’re not trying to ‘polish a turn’ as it were. You were being honest.

Those are the 4-ish most important ones. Can you think of any more important tips for finding your online love?